Westerly Sun Column | Strap in for the Great Toast Debate of ’25

We have entered the era of the Great Toast Debate of 2025. My take: Say no to toast! Just a few weeks ago my colleague went on and on about the joys of toast. Now I am not one to judge (a blatant lie if I ever heard one) but why would you ruin a perfectly exquisite piece of bread by toasting it? Bread is meant to be eaten untoasted with its crusty outside and its exquisite, chewy inside. I had the exciting opportunity to go to France several years ago and every morning I would go to the pâtisserie to get my daily baguette. Do you think for one second they asked if I wanted it toasted? Bon Dieu non!

But I fear I will never convince the pro-toast in these divided times to abandon the toaster. How do we move forward? After disparaging each other’s bread preferences so vehemently, can we move forward? Is there a way for me to reach the point of a reluctant acceptance of those who would toast a fresh bagel? The only way forward is diplomacy, compromise, and understanding.

One way to overcome these divides is learning how to manage these challenging disagreements. “Talking on Eggshells: Soft Skills for Hard Conversations” by Sam Horn explores how to handle difficult discussions calmly and how to remain composed so that you can have a productive conversation. Some other books worth checking out include “Good Arguments: How Debate Teaches Us to Listen and Be Heard” by Bo Seo and “The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More” by Jefferson Fisher. Fisher discusses that the goal of difficult conversations should not be to “win” an argument, but to have effective dialogues to come to a solution.

Libby has tons of resources to help with difficult conversations rather than avoiding them. One that is interesting is “How to Listen and How to Be Heard” by Alissa Carpenter. Carpenter offers a “guide to empowering yourself and others to communicate with people who think, act and experience things differently than you.”

After perusing through some of these resources, I had to rethink my stance. As my co-worker graciously acquiesced that not all bread needs to be toasted, I must allow that on exceedingly rare occasions I can be wrong. I must acknowledge my co-worker’s points and admit that it may be acceptable to toast a stale bagel or an older piece of bread ... the beginning of a peaceful resolution. However, it only goes so far. Do not get me started on wraps!

by Caroline Badowski, Head of Adult Services